My Friend Kyle

I have only good memories of Kyle. I don't remember ever having big fights with him, and I don't remember him ever hurting my feelings, even by accident. In my mind I remember Kyle being kind and thoughtfuland wise, always offering his well thought out ad vice without sounding judgemental.

Recently, a friend of mine and Kyle's (Neil Schur) shared a story about their experience together on the Cheltenham High School Debating Team:
It seems the two of them lost their index cards that had all of their notes on them. Rather than concede the debate, they made up all of their quotes and references, using the names from a seating chart taped to a nearby desk. Not only did they get through the debate without even being challenged once, but they WON! That was so Kyle...

I remember when Kyle and Joy went to the prom together. He seemed so at ease in his he was born into it!

Kyle continued his long tradition of gallantry by being one of the two men who would consent to dance with me during our traditional New Year's Eve gatherings. I specifically rembember December of 94, that he not only danced with me after Frank got tired out, but he helped me up the stairs later. Of course, he did continue to tease me about that for the next year, but hey - that's what friends are for.

I also remember a time that Kyle and I took a day trip down to Atlantic City. This was sometime in the past 5 years, I believe. We were walking up and down the boardwalk, and this was during the off-season, and along the storefronts people were hawking th eir goods and services. A few places managed to suck us in for a second look - we were always on the lookout for a good bargain. And 3 or 4 of these places selling time-shared condos were trying to entice people by giving them free weekend vacations. Seve ral of these people kept referring to me and Kyle as a married couple. Kyle corrected one of them with a laughing "no, this is NOT my wife," and the salesman came back with "oh, then she must be your sister? I can tell you really care about her." And Kyle and I just looked at eachother and laughed, and walked out of the storefront, arm in arm.

More recently I had my own medical scare. I was waiting to go in for a biopsy, and I was terrified, more terrified than I let on to most people. Although I was living in California at the time, I turned to Kyle for help - this was before his recent ordeal - and he was, as always, a rock. He calmed and soothed me repeatedly over the phone as I was waiting for the results. He simply explained to me in a cool and rational manner that everything WOULD be just fine, and that if by some freak of nature, I DID g et bad news, he'd be there for me. And I felt a LOT better. And when everything came out ok, and I was back in the neighborhood, he celebrated with me.

Also around that time, Kyle and I, both single young people, would talk a lot about our attempts at meeting people. I remember calling him in despair, thinking that I would grow old alone, and Kyle would assure me, in a way that only he could, with a quie t certainty and firmness, that that was NOT the case. And he'd tell me about how he felt after his heart was broken, and how he got over it, and was going on dates, and he'd offer a funny story or two about that. Kyle always gave of himself to help others , and I am so grateful that I was on the recieving end of that so many times.

Recently, sitting with Joy and Frank and Avi, I have been thinking a lot about Kyle, and we remembered a few things about him that I'd like to share. I think it says a lot about Kyle that back in high school, he had big plans to run for the school board! I'm not sure why he didn't end up doing it, but at the time, I remember thinking "Kyle will be president of the united states one day at the rate he's going." Joy pointed out that while in Law School, Kyle considered running for the State Senate, but fina ncial concerns prevented him from carrying out his campaign. Avi recalled that in kindergarden, Kyle planned to simply "take over the world." :) I recall with amusement Kyle's "disclaimer" that got tacked onto every shred of legal advice, warning me that I was not his client, he was not responsible, the firm was not responsible, etc. Even if I'd just asked a silly trivia question about law. He simply followed the rules to the letter, joking about keeping the trail clean so he could run for office one day. Kyle definitely would have made a great statesman, given half a chance. Our loss is surely the country's as well.

While Kyle was ill, I felt useless and sad. I most recently visited Kyle this Valentine's day, and it really says a lot about Kyle, I think, that even though he was heavily medicated and groggy and confused, he was asking me about our friends, wanting to know what was going on in the world outside the hospital. When I expressed my love and concern to him he told me "oh, don't worry about me, i want to hear about you." So I told him a few stories about my life, and he told me what movie he'd watched on tap e recently, and we joked that funnily enough, we'd BOTH fallen asleep during that movie, never seeing the end, although for different reasons.

I am really devastated by this loss. I feel shocked, numb, and terribly sad. Kyle will be missed TERRIBLY, not only by his grieving parents and family, but by those of us who grew up with him, and loved him so much. Friendship was never halfway with Kyle. He would give his all for his friends. I am so sorry that all that we could give back wasn't enough to keep him here with us.