From netaxs.com!news2.cais.net!news.cais.net!primus.ac.net!imci4!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsserver.jvnc.net!stevens-tech.edu!linux.stevens-tech.edu!kmh Fri Feb 16 23:37:11 1996
Path: netaxs.com!news2.cais.net!news.cais.net!primus.ac.net!imci4!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsserver.jvnc.net!stevens-tech.edu!linux.stevens-tech.edu!kmh
From: kmh@linux.stevens-tech.edu (Kurt M. Hockenbury)
Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
Subject: The Oracle Understands
Date: 17 Feb 1996 02:09:39 GMT
Organization: Stevens Institute of Technology
Lines: 71
Message-ID: <4g3dd3$e1r@apocalypse.dmi.stevens-tech.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: linux.stevens-tech.edu
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]


From rec.humor.oracle.  I think this belongs in the FAQ or achives:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 15 Feb 96 00:10:35 -0500
From: Usenet Oracle 
Subject: Usenet Oracularity #817-10

Selected-By: Christophe Pettus 

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> I am a new user - test run - how do I get to the web browser?  I click
> "web" and it takes me to a statement about the protest and then some
> suggestions but i do not see how to actually initiate a search.  Thanks
> Also - can I use netscape along with pipeline?  I tried and got a
> "check winsock" and "connect first" message.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I think I know from where your problems stem.
} Would you, could you, RTFM?
}
}   I would not, could not, RTFM
}   I want *YOU* to solve my problem.
}
} Could you read the docs online?
} Would you read them any time?
}
}   I would not read the docs online,
}   Without them I can do just fine.
}
} Would you read a FAQ or HOWTO?
} Is this something you could do?
}
}   I could not read a FAQ or HOWTO.
}   Even the thought makes me spew.
}
} What could I suggest next?
} Would you read it in HyperText?
}
}   I would not read help in hypertext,
}   For the problem with which I am vexed.
}
} How about if you could read it through
} A conveniently placed system menu?
}
}   I will not access help from a menu.
}   That stuff is a bunch of ballyhoo!
}
} How much simpler could this be?
} Did you try the help hotkey?
}
}   I'll try not a help hotkey,
}   To that I will never agree!
}
}   I would not, could not RTFM.
}   I want *you* to solve my problem!
}
} Since you will not RTFM,
} You I must now condemn
}
} To a life without working software,
} And a constant feeling of despair.
}
} You owe the Oracle a book by Dr. Suess,
} Or maybe something by Mother Goose.

------------------------------